During the past twenty-five years I have had the privilege of not only mentoring but befriending most of my clients. I love authentic and trust-filled relationships. It wasnt always like this though. During my early twenties I often felt obliged to be there for any client I was working with from the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep. This created problems that are now obvious to see with experience. I didnt even have to be in their presence since I was constantly on the job mentally. I regularly stewed and sweated long after the client and I had parted ways for the day as to whether my communication could have been better or why the results didnt reflect our extensive time together. Most of those early projects for me had limited success and the relationships became lifeless.
We know that great relationships are based on integrity and mutual respect, but they also need energy, novelty and rejuvenation to function at the highest and most productive level. There is a fine line between getting under someones feet and being a resource for them. There must also be a balance between induced boredom and spontaneous interest. It is crucial to recognize the difference between time well spent and spinning your wheels.
I have always produced my best work when I have something to bring to the table, but for that to happen, I must spend time AWAY from the table. You are the same, whether we are talking about relationships, creativity or work output. Heres my advice… People wont remember you for the hours that you spent with them, they will remember you for the interactions you had. Pace the relationship wisely.
If you are in sales, give your customer freedom and space to decide.
If you are a mentor or coach, give your students the ability to develop ownership of the ideas you have given them.
If you are in leadership, appear fresh, friendly and innovative among your teams. To do that, you must leave the table of success definitively so you can return with a presence everyone is drawn to.
End note:
Just try to be aware in the next few days of the relationships in your life that need a re-boot. As awkward as it may feel, just softly distance yourself from that relationship until your interest naturally spikes again. Its no coincidence that the two best golfers who ever lived, Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods, also played the least golf and maintained limited schedules. They kept their relationship with the game fresh in an effort to arrive at the table ready to eat!
Have a great week.
Nick Bradley